I look at myself in the mirror, disgusted by who, what and where I am.  The gravity of all that I've gone through and done over the past year eats at me.  Pulls me down to an abyss that I don't want to escape.  I want to go deeper.  The pain turns to anger. Anger that sooner or later will break me.  I hope that at some point I can stop myself before I do something most will not understand.