My life feels lack luster.  Mundane.  Monotonous. I go through the motions day by day.  Putting on the front of being ok.  Trying to be a good father, trying to be the best husband I can be under the circumstances.  I spend everyday trying to appear normal.  That I don't wish to be able to end it all.

It builds up inside me.  I can feel the oncoming need for a release.