I've survived until Christmas time at least.  Honestly, the way things were going for me I'm a little surprised at that.  If you've spent any time reading my posts you probably already know how much I like this time of year.  Stacked upon everything else that is going on inside my head makes quite a lovely place.  While the pain is at a manageable level, the darkness still looms.

My mind wanders towards her still.  Throughout all that transpired between us, and the pain I've felt, I hope that she is happy.  Her happiness is all that I desired all along.  Had I known that she was already happy none of this would have ever happened.  It was her deception that my presence in her life was for the better.